Why do people feel self conscious and how can we get over this feeling?
I of all people know how awful it feels to be self conscious all the time - the constant worry of people looking at you, laughing at you, judging you. It's not a nice feeling. The thing that I always wonder, though, is why do people feel this way?
The answer sounds obvious...Even though people may state otherwise, we care what people think about us. We have that worry that people are thinking mean things about us - what we look like, what we talk like, how we act, what we say. We have the ongoing fear that people are judging and thinking about every small detail that makes us up.
This self conscious feeling can cause so many problems for people over the years however. It makes people so shy - this makes it harder to make friends - especially at school and college, it makes it harder in job interviews because you're worried that the interviewer is judging you. It just makes life in general difficult and awkward.
That leads me onto the next question - Do we ever stop feeling self conscious? And if we do, how do we get over the feeling?
I think the most important step to getting over this feeling is...
1. DON'T CARE ABOUT WHAT ANYONE SAYS. I know this is a step that is easier said than done, but it's true. If we're happy about ourselves, why should anyone else matter? I think once people get past this first step, everything becomes just that much more easier.
2. Try and think why you are self conscious. - I don't mean because you think people are saying things about you. I mean, what do you think makes you that way in the first place? How you look? How you talk? Whatever it is, it doesn't matter, you shouldn't change yourself for people. It just might help put your mind at rest knowing why you feel this way.
3. Think about whether you might make other people self conscious. When you look at someone, you might be making them self conscious, regardless of whether you're judging them or not. If by just looking at someone makes them feel self conscious, it might be the same if you flip the situation round. If someone looks at you, or laughs at something - it doesn't automatically mean they're judging you or laughing at you - it could be something entirely different but is just the paranoia kicking in. If you keep this thought in mind, then the feeling might become smaller (or even go away entirely!)
4. Redirect your attention to something else. A lot of the time, people feel self conscious because they are thinking about the problem themselves. If you busy yourself so you're not thinking about it, the feeling will be gone. This could be something as simple as listening to music, looking at the buildings or scenery around you. Something, anything to distract you from your own worries.
5. Accept who you are and embrace that. This may be the important step. If you understand that you are who you are, and there is no way you are going to change that, everything will become much better. Realise that if you're happy, then that's all that's important and you're not going to change for anyone.
I understand that all of these steps seem to be easier said than done, but if you give them a try at least, I can almost guarantee that you will feel slightly more confident in yourself.
Is the feeling of being self conscious something you struggle with? Did you learn to live with it or get over it in other ways? Let me know!
The answer sounds obvious...Even though people may state otherwise, we care what people think about us. We have that worry that people are thinking mean things about us - what we look like, what we talk like, how we act, what we say. We have the ongoing fear that people are judging and thinking about every small detail that makes us up.
This self conscious feeling can cause so many problems for people over the years however. It makes people so shy - this makes it harder to make friends - especially at school and college, it makes it harder in job interviews because you're worried that the interviewer is judging you. It just makes life in general difficult and awkward.
That leads me onto the next question - Do we ever stop feeling self conscious? And if we do, how do we get over the feeling?
I think the most important step to getting over this feeling is...
1. DON'T CARE ABOUT WHAT ANYONE SAYS. I know this is a step that is easier said than done, but it's true. If we're happy about ourselves, why should anyone else matter? I think once people get past this first step, everything becomes just that much more easier.
2. Try and think why you are self conscious. - I don't mean because you think people are saying things about you. I mean, what do you think makes you that way in the first place? How you look? How you talk? Whatever it is, it doesn't matter, you shouldn't change yourself for people. It just might help put your mind at rest knowing why you feel this way.
3. Think about whether you might make other people self conscious. When you look at someone, you might be making them self conscious, regardless of whether you're judging them or not. If by just looking at someone makes them feel self conscious, it might be the same if you flip the situation round. If someone looks at you, or laughs at something - it doesn't automatically mean they're judging you or laughing at you - it could be something entirely different but is just the paranoia kicking in. If you keep this thought in mind, then the feeling might become smaller (or even go away entirely!)
4. Redirect your attention to something else. A lot of the time, people feel self conscious because they are thinking about the problem themselves. If you busy yourself so you're not thinking about it, the feeling will be gone. This could be something as simple as listening to music, looking at the buildings or scenery around you. Something, anything to distract you from your own worries.
5. Accept who you are and embrace that. This may be the important step. If you understand that you are who you are, and there is no way you are going to change that, everything will become much better. Realise that if you're happy, then that's all that's important and you're not going to change for anyone.
I understand that all of these steps seem to be easier said than done, but if you give them a try at least, I can almost guarantee that you will feel slightly more confident in yourself.
Is the feeling of being self conscious something you struggle with? Did you learn to live with it or get over it in other ways? Let me know!
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